Marias Story
We found out I was pregnant March 11th after trying for 8 months. (I have a 2 year old boy). We think it was wild hormones from breastfeeding him for a year which kept me from getting pregnant quicker. We told our immediate families right away and were excited. I had gestational diabetes with my first baby and this time it came back super early again at 4 weeks but it’s pretty easily diet controlled. At 8w6d I had my first Ultrasound and OB appointment. I had a bad gut feeling but since I was super nauseous and already had a bloat bump I told myself not to worry. Baby was only measuring 5w4d with no heartbeat. The US tech kept saying it could have been too early. (I had a subchorionic hemorrhage at 5w4d with my first baby and at that point we could already see his heartbeat so I knew better than what she was saying). Super super long story short, and I’m all for sharing my story further in detail, if interested, because it was a super drawn out process. I had 2 follow up US to confirm nothing had changed. It was confirmed I was having a Missed Miscarriage. I met with the OB and we talked about options. I really wanted my body to naturally take care of it. May 11th I finally decided at 12w to take Misoprostol to jump start the miscarriage. Within 3 hours cramping and bleeding started. Another long story short, bleeding was severe and then period like for a total of about 3 weeks by week 3 bleeding tapered. A couple days later I started bleeding HEAVILY again and expelling palm sized clots. It came and went. Saturday morning and evening it happened again along with Sunday evening. Monday morning I talked with the OB and scheduled me an appointment for Tuesday morning. Tuesday morning I experienced severe bleeding. Scary bad. Then it slowed by the time of my appointment. I had an US again and showed 1cm of placenta retained which still had blood flow. So all this bleeding and multiple massive clots was basically from an active bleed. June 8th, I had a D&C. Everything went smoothly and recovery was very straightforward and “easy”. I did go through a very light headed/dizzy time because of the severe bleeding before the D&C, my red blood cell count/hemoglobin/hematocrit levels were all low.
Not only do I want to share my story because of how unique and drawn out it’s was, but because, emotionally, I feel like I didn’t/haven’t grieved like I’ve seen so many others. And I want others to know that however you grieve, it’s okay! Both my husband and I grieved the news when we first found out and I was really frustrated that I had all these pregnancy symptoms basically for no reason but after that, we were okay. We often think about the “what could have beens” but we are both okay. I’ve been to a baby shower since, both my sister and sister in law have babies and it doesn’t bother me to be around them. I’m bummed every time I see a pregnancy announcement but that’s about the extent of my hostility around the miscarriage.
Fast forward to September 1st, I got another slight positive pregnancy test after having some very strong early pregnancy symptoms. My doctor wanted me to come in for blood work right away since with my last pregnancy, when we found out it was a MMC, my progesterone was low. So if it was low again, we wanted to catch it right away. Both, my hCG and Progesterone, came back normal for me being almost 4 weeks pregnant. It was Labor Day weekend and my first blood draw was on Friday and I couldn’t go back in until Tuesday. On Tuesday, my hCG came back as higher, but it hadn’t even doubled and at that point it should have at least tripled. My doctor messaged me saying to come back is 4-6 days. I went back in that Friday and my hCG had dropped into the “not pregnant” range. This time, a Chemical Pregnancy. The day after the confiming blood work, I started bleeding. This time, since basically my period was just a week “late” it was very period like. “Normal” bleeding and “normal” cramping and “normal” in length.
I now have a 2 year old, and two very different experiences with pregnancy losses.
